On My Way Back Up!

Wow has it been busy! I am now working at the hospital full-time, 12 hour shifts (7am-7pm or 7pm-7am). This has left me little time to ride. I have come to a lot of realizations in the last 3 weeks, some I am happy with others I am not.

First and foremost, my new job has to take precedence over cycling. Working in an ICU setting is pretty tough work, meaning I am doing lots of training classes and extra studying. This has left me with a lot less time to ride, but I am still riding! I have tons of classes at the hospital; everything from orientation for RN's about the equipment we use to ECG to Critical Care and ACLS, and that is just the beginning. My goal is still to ride and keep my fitness up, doing hard rides and intervals, but I don't think I will be able to do much more racing this summer. I have totally let down Team Endeavor, but I am hoping next spring/summer things will have calmed down a lot letting me focus on my riding and training. Maybe Endeavour won't let me come back next summer, who knows. I was actually thinking about joining up with Brazen if possible, seeing that they are a local team and I can be a lot more involved then.

Second, this tying in with the first, I really need to focus on studying for my boards! It does me no good to blow off studying and fail my boards. Once I pass my boards my stress level will be cut in half, until then I worry all the time about passing. Everyone says I will pass it, but what if I don't, then what?

It's just crazy what is happening in my life right now, but it should be calming down here soon. Until then I guess I just ride it out and see what happens. Things are going much better though, which makes me a lot happier. My downward spiral has leveled out and I am on my way back up. Getting paid pretty well has helped that out as well. Hopefully I will get a ride in today and make my day off even better.

Down a Black Winding Slide

Down and down I slip, deeper into the abyss. It seems that this hole that I keep slipping into gets deeper and deeper. I have no idea as to why I feel this way. I think it's so much change going on, as well as no consistency for a routine. I have zero time right now to get out and ride...it's that simple. I still have no idea what my schedule is after Wednesday. It just seems that I cannot keep up with the training I need to become even a little better. It seems to go in streaks, times when I get to have all the time in the world to ride and workout. Then out of the blue, it seems that I am allowed zero time to ride. I have a hard time guessing what is going to be allowed or not allowed, so it seems easier to aim really low like not ride any more to see if that makes any kind of impact...so far guess not.

Do I really care? I honestly cannot answer that. It seems feutile to try and compete against people who get to train more. I guess it does not really matter, no one seems to notice me not at races, or even if I get on the bike. I never really been someone who has made a lot of connections in the cycling community. All of the people I know get to eat, breath and sleep cycling and have no real cares in the world. I guess I am living up to my total potential...failure!

The towel Is In

Well, after a some crappy things happening, it looks like I am throwing in the towel. It was a fun run while it lasted. Oh well, maybe someday! Seems to be the motto of my life!

YUCK!!!

I was attacked by a darn stomach bug this week! It started last Friday, but just as some crampy stomach pains. I figured it was something I ate, no big deal. Wrong! Tuesday I spent a better part of my day throwing up everything, then getting the dry heaves! So I got in a ride last Friday and Saturday, but after that the stomach was not working with me.

So I ended up missing the practice crit on Tuesday, and I am not sure if I am going to be doing the races on Saturday and Sunday. I guess I will have to see how things play out.

I start my new job on Monday, pretty excited about that. A huge increase in pay means getting out of the hole and maybe picking up some new toys for the bike:) I wish I knew how everyone seems to stay super motivated and have all the time in the world to ride. I am trying to get out at least 4 if not 5 days a week and that is pushing it to the max with the family. I guess working 11 hour days and getting home at 6 pm does not help the training time much. But there has to be other people out there who are in the same boat as I am and get done what they need to. Some days I just feel like throwing in the toll and saying screw it, but my love of the bike wins out. What bothers me most is not getting on the bike as much as I want, and then racing like crap because of the lack of ride time. It seems like I will always be stuck at the back of a 4/5 race, just hanging on to stay in the race. Something has to eventually give, and I just hope it's not me.

This is the life of a guy who still has about 25 pounds to loose and put a major commitment into a training schedule in the season. Maybe I am destined to be a cat 5 my whole life! Damn, that's kind of depressing if you think about it. I am just hoping that this new job will allow me to get on my bike more often and get what I need done. Only working an 8 hour shift from 3pm to 11:30pm should make riding a lot easier in terms of day light, but I need to make sure I am able to get moving in the morning. Truth be known I hate working out in the morning. My body aches and it does not want to get moving. So transitioning to it should be interesting. I guess a lot is going to change in the next couple of month, and being that this is my first year racing in a looong time I cannot be to hard on my self.

Off to go riding, will see how today feels after turning my insides out on Tuesday!

What a Week

Wow, this week has been a trying one! Life around the house has not been an easy one. Due to some financial issues power got shut off even though we had made arrangements for payments. So 2 1/2 day without electricity...No cooking, no hot showers, no lights, no computer! So survival was more of the concern then riding. The girls thought it was pretty cool, but mom and dad did not. I guess it could have gone worse, so I did not get to ride for 3 days. I made up for it on the days I have ridden though.

Monday I went on a long ride, originally heading to Belleville. After getting hit with a huge t-storm I headed toward Paoli, then Verona, followed by Mt. Horeb, back to Verona and to Madison. It was great, except I did not have enough food (1 gel does not cut it) and Bonked about 12 miles outside of Madison. The rest of the ride was great, good speed and the legs felt great.

Friday I rode with Jason Braucht, a friend of mine who rides casually. I love riding with him because I can chat the whole way about everything in the world. If I need to make my legs scream I just shift to a harder gear and go with a slow cadence to feel the burn. We ended up just meandering around, no real direction.

Saturday I went out late in the afternoon, looking to get about 40 miles in. After about 10 miles I decided to head out to Belleville again to see what happens. It was great, flying down the road at a great pace. The road signs were not well marked and my cue sheet was a little smudged, so it was an interesting ride. I loved the coarse, rolling hills with some steep climbs. In the end it was about 52 miles and I was happy with the pace I was able to keep. I really need to keep up with the longer rides on the weekends when I am not racing.

I am hoping that next weekend I can do the road race and TT. I love the TT format! No aero bars and no disks wheels! Seeing that I have neither it's perfect for me.